My Testimony of Christ Jesus

I used to think that I was a good person…That I didn’t need “religion”. I never really analyzed in detail why or how I came to that conclusion at the time, I just believed that I was good. I think the internal dialogue went something like this, “I’ve never murdered anyone, I’ve never raped anyone, and I’ve never robbed anyone. I am not like those criminals that do that stuff. I am a good person”  I used to say this to myself also, “I’m not against religion or Christianity, I think some weak people out there need it, but I don’t. I am strong and good all on my own”. I walked on my own path, did what I believed was right.

What I was actually doing there was comparing myself to others whom I deemed as worse than me and then using them as my yard stick to determine that I was indeed a good and righteous person.

I was then taking the “little” things that I did do and justifying them. Let’s see, what did I leave out…umm, how about those little things that I took home from work. “Oh, they owe me for that, I deserve it. They don’t pay me for all of this overtime so I am justified in taking this little thing.” Or, let’s see…”So and so did this, so and so did that. I would never do what so and so did.” Hmmm, or how about lusting after others..”but I have never actually cheated on my wife, looking and lusting is not cheating.” Or, “It’s just pictures, I am not actually cheating.” or, “It’s just a video, I am not actually cheating.” Or how about, “I only get drunk on the weekends. no big deal.” Or..”I work from home on Fridays so now I can get blasted on Thursday or sometimes even Wednesday nights as well. No big deal, I am not hurting anyone.” Or how about, “I don’t even really get drunk anyways, it’s only 8 beers and I don’t pass out or anything and, yeah, I am ok to drive.” Why did I always have an explanation or justification for these things in my head? Maybe it was because (paraphrasing the Bible) we are born with God’s laws written deep in our hearts but as we grow up, astray from God, we know that these “little” things are wrong as well but our sinful nature learns how to justify them and begin to harden our hearts.

As mentioned above, the Bible says that we are all sinful people by nature. We have all fallen short. There is no difference between us and the murderer in jail. We cannot compare ourselves to other bad people in order to get a true gauge of where we stand. All of that is just relative and we will always be able to find someone out there who we think is worse than us and therefore further the delusion that we are “good” people on our own because we are not “as bad” as that other person. When you believe that you are good on your own, you are actually further away from God than that criminal that you were comparing yourself to. This is because you don’t believe that you need God because you are good and righteous already, whereas that criminal, when he is caught and sentenced, may come to his knees and come to God for forgiveness.

To truly measure where we stand, we need to compare ourselves to THE true good person, one that has never done anything bad (never sinned). This is where Jesus comes in. Jesus is God, but God that came down to us in human form so that he could connect with us in a way that God had never connected before. Jesus lived and suffered as a human but never sinned. He even intentionally allowed himself to be tortured and killed for us, in order that his perfect example of human life might be shown to us fallen people. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” (John 3:16-17 ESV)

Jesus is the model of what we as humans are supposed to be. This is one facet of how he saves us. If we truly follow his example, we will be on the path that God truly intended for us, therefore restoring our lost relationship (fellowship) with God. Now, in order to follow his example, we need to first believe in him and who he truly is and what he accomplished on our behalf. We need to study his life and truly understand all of its facets so that we can make those changes in our own lives. Now, just because we have chosen to make these changes in our lives (repenting and turning away from our former sinful lives) doesn’t mean that we won’t still stumble and sin now and then. This is a process, not an overnight, instantaneous change. We will always stumble but what is important is how we deal with those stumbles. When we stumble, we are to be honest with ourselves and anyone else who may have been adversely affected by it, and of course with God. We are to confess these stumbles (sins) to ourselves and to God and also anyone else who may have been hurt by them. By this confession, we are not burying these sins in the darkness, but exposing them to the light. Once we start following Christ, we should be walking in his light. Light exposes everything including our stumbles, no matter how small they may seem.

As we endure in this new life in Christ, our heart will soften. All of the hardening and skepticism that developed when we were not yet believers will slowly soften and begin to melt away. We will Love more. We will learn the true meaning of life and Love and how God is Love.

So, here’s the deal. I came to Christ almost 2 years ago and was baptized on 6/5/2011. He has changed my life in SO many ways. I now know what true happiness is. When I look back on what I used to think made me happy, it couldn’t have been more the opposite. Life is here, better than ever. I still struggle here and there but I keep my faith in Christ every step of the way. Being in Christ is definitely a process, not necessarily a “snap your fingers” kind of thing. It is a lifelong process of changing your soul to something that, hopefully one day, will resemble Christ’s. I have been completely through the Bible almost twice and have read several books on Christian theology and apologetics. I am also an avid study of a great Christian teacher, Steve Gregg, at www.thenarrowpath.com. I highly recommend his lectures and Verse by Verse studies of the Bible.

I have always been the type of person who needs to understand how things work and why they are a certain way. I’ll tell you, the more I study the Bible, and Christian theology, the more everything makes total sense about why things are the way they are. I can also say that Christianity is not a religion like many may think. A religion is a system of man-made works and rituals that attempts to allow somebody to “earn” their own salvation or advancement or whatever they may call it. This is not the way it works with Christ. Christ is simply, the Truth. With Christ, your salvation is a free gift that you could never achieve yourself nor could you ever repay Him for it. You just need to receive it with Thanks and do your best to truly live your life for Him. That’s it. There was already the Jewish religion of laws and sacrifices when Jesus came onto the scene 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, this religion was not working for most. It was not saving them all and only served to create a class of self-righteous people referred to as the Pharisees. Jesus came to free us from that religion and be truly saved, directly from God. It is what’s inside that counts with Jesus, not rituals or outside appearances.

A little aside here on alcohol use…as I mentioned it above as a sin. As we all know, Jesus himself did drink wine. There is nothing inherently sinful about consuming alcohol in moderation and, in fact, I still do. But, the problem was with the relationship that I had with alcohol previously. I used to use it in excess on a regular basis. Plus, I idolized it. It was my “god” in a sense back then, filling that empty void. I used to worship it, looking forward to the “weekend” when I could indulge. The “weekend” expanded to include Thursday (and sometimes even Wednesday) at some point. My entire life revolved around that “weekend” when I could get drunk. It became the highlight of my week. I could barely wait for it to come so that I could get drunk and stay up late. I was definitely a functioning alcoholic. I always got my work done no matter how hung over. I used the fact that I didn’t drink on certain nights and that I always got my work done as an excuse to say to myself that I wasn’t an alcoholic. The sins here were that I let alcohol take the place of God in my life, and that I was an alcoholic (regular over-use).